Just SHUT UP!!! ...and Look Pretty

I initially wrote on this topic several years ago, and every now and again I’m brought back to it. This time, I happened upon a YouTube video from Lana Vawser Ministries that stirred the thought of it within me again. I’ll place the link below for you to view because it’s a good word for the daughters of God.

Sincerely, though, what would you do if I said to you >> JUST SHUT UP!! And LOOK Pretty. << Would it rub you the wrong way? Would you think 'how dare she say that to me?' I think my first response would be a loud, verbal ‘NO, I WILL NOT.’ Lol! In all seriousness, how often do we (actually) function that way? Like all we're supposed to do is find a little comfortable spot to occupy and be a trophy to view...hmm???

In so many ways, I heard that growing up; and, from singing to speaking up, I often felt I didn’t have a place. Nowadays, we have so many different avenues and movements in place just for women - yet, many of us still feel we should shut-up [sit back and watch someone else do what’s in our hearts to do] and just… LOOK pretty.

There’s most definitely a balance between being silent and pretty and then the other extreme being pretty and saying whatever you want to say loosely… Colossians 4:6 “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” This scripture was and is an encouragement toward graceful communication but also proof that we are not supposed to JUST look pretty… we have answers that others need.

Further proof that we are someone’s answer is found in a story that I’m sure many of us are familiar with… ESTHER. Esther was unassuming, but she was beautiful and commissioned to AUDITION for the role of QUEEN. The fact that she was ABLE to audition lets us know that she already WAS one. I’m going to say that again - the fact that she was ABLE to audition lets us know that she already WAS a Queen. Take a moment and think about opportunities that are coming your way… could it be that they are coming because of what you ARE already?

Moving right on…

So, Esther goes to the designated place to be trained in the ways of the palace as well as to be more pleasing to/for the King. She ends up being chosen by the King, and she's finished... she’s reached the highest height possible… she can just sit down, shut up, and look pretty… right? WRONG… there was STILL another level. No matter what we do or what we attain, there’s ALWAYS more in God.

Her cousin finds out about the evil plan of one of the King’s men, and he tells Esther - you’re in position, now you need to speak for your people. THAT is what I call #BOLDBEAUTY - her beauty was called upon to MOVE - she had to DO something… Esther stepped OUTSIDE of her comfort zone and even outside of the law and protocol of that day and made something happen for her people.

Like Esther, once we’ve found the place we’re supposed to be in - in EVERY area - we can't allow anyone or anything to stop us from moving according to God’s plan for us.

Our beauty has PURPOSE.

Our beauty should MOVE - both physically and spiritually… Physically by way of doing what you are called to do (in every area) and spiritually by way of causing OTHERS to move into what they are called to do. We should ALWAYS be INSPIRING someone else.

God’s plan for you is legit (too legit for you to quit...lol...remember that MC Hammer song?), and it’s active; so, RAISE YOUR VOICE, OH, BEAUTIFUL ONE. :)

Please take a look at this link:

https://youtu.be/FqRKE7GqFaw

Love, Arielle

Somewhere Between Feeling and Numbing, We Can Hide, Insert Void-Fillers, or...

...Allow God to Do What He Does Best: HEAL

We were made to feel. Somehow, someway, or somewhere there was some one (or several someones) who told us that having those feelings are inappropriate or wrong. They brought us to a place of shame when they should have been helping us learn to manage them. Then there are those experiences that we may have had that made us feel powerless or afraid or worthless, and because we never wanted to feel the depth of sorrow that those uncontrolled emotions brought with them, we adopted a strategy to hide behind an intricately built wall of protection. Behind this wall, we are free from anything that is thrown at us... we are even left with a piece of peace... but... are we (actually) free? Are we truly at peace? Selah [pause and think about this].

Freedom is defined as (1) the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint; (2) the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved; (3) the state of being physically unrestricted and able to move easily; and (4) the state of not being subject to or affected by (a particular undesirable thing). << With this is mind, if we’ve been pushed behind a wall, or even if we voluntarily walked behind the wall that we built that is not freedom. We are enslaved, restricted, and restrained because we were negatively affected by the consequences that may have come from what we felt that caused us to speak, think, or act incongruently with what we were told was right.

Stay with me, I’m going somewhere with this. :)

Peace is defined as (1) freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility; (2) freedom from dispute or dissension between individuals or groups; (3) free from anxiety or distress; (4) to become reconciled. Behind our walls, we may be undisturbed (or in today’s culture we like to say ‘unbothered’), but (again) are we FREE from dispute? Can we become reconciled if we’re not letting anyone or anything get past our walls?

It’s amazing to me how inter-connected freedom and peace are... to truly experience them means taking time to create an entry space in our walls or knock them down entirely so that light (and reconciliation) can come through.

I am a recovering emotional eater and shop-a-holic. Shhhh... don’t tell anyone. :) I’ve discovered that if I’m not eating or - on the opposite side of the spectrum - if I’m over-eating or binge-eating I’m in distress over something that I think I can’t share with anyone about. Finding bargains makes me feel good! If I can shop and get lots of things for less, ohhhh it turns my stress into happiness. It gives me a sense of value... but it also clutters my house. And with clutter as a result, in those moments that I’m self-soothing, I’m not buying things that I need. I’m going to put myself out here and say I’m being wasteful. When I do these things I’m not managing my negative emotions, I’m compounding them... piling them higher and higher... because now I’m creating more work for myself to do in the end - both internally and externally. My eating and shopping habits are (temporarily) filling a void that can only be healed by the Master.

I want to offer us three (3) healthy ways to manage our feelings (emotions).

1. PRAY ABOUT IT! 2. TALK ABOUT IT! 3. WRITE ABOUT IT!

PRAY ABOUT IT!

We can ask God for what we need concerning our situations, and in the asking trust that He will do what’s needed to bring resolution.

Exodus 15:2 “The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. This is my God, and I will praise him—  my father’s God, and I will exalt him!”

Psalm 62:8 "Trust in him at all times, oh people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us."

TALK ABOUT IT!

We can release our innermost thoughts in conversation with a trusted individual. That release in dialogue with someone can help dismantle detrimental thinking and expose new ways of seeing the situation.

Proverbs 19:20 “Listen to advice and receive discipline, that you may become wise by the end of your life.”

Proverbs 13:10 “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

WRITE ABOUT IT!

We can write to our heart’s content, knowing that the page (or pages) we’ve drenched with ink will be available for us to view days, weeks, months, or even years down the line for us to look back and see how far we’ve come.

Psalm‬ ‭77:11-15‬ ‭MSG‬‬ “Once again I’ll go over what GOD has done, lay out on the table the ancient wonders; I’ll ponder all the things you’ve accomplished, and give a long, loving look at your acts. O God! Your way is holy! No god is great like God! You’re the God who makes things happen; you showed everyone what you can do— You pulled your people out of the worst kind of trouble, rescued the children of Jacob and Joseph.”

What step will you take toward your healing today, that will allow you to begin dismantling your wall(s)? Please comment below so that I can pray in agreement for your victory, and please take a listen to this song: https://youtu.be/TD3zS_GxS3M

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Reality Check: We ALL Need to Be Fixed

A little sister of mine reached out to me after a break-up. I asked her permission to share this, but one thing she said to me was that she always finds herself attracted to the same type of guy - one who needs her, one who needs fixing. She, essentially, was drained from the relationship and felt she had lost herself. As I thought about my dating history prior to marriage, I could relate 100% to her statement. Then, as I thought about my marriage, I hit her with this: They (men) ALL need fixing. WE (women) need fixing! We ALL have flaws, some deeply rooted from childhood and hidden from consciousness, some superficially painful from a more recent situation. There’s a measure of brokenness within each of us, that sometimes isn’t drawn out UNTIL we’re in relationship with the wrong, OR (even) the RIGHT, one!

In marriage counseling (yes, you need counseling and accountability...and it’s better to start there in sunshine-y seasons but definitely a must in rainy seasons) my pastor has said something like this, as she legitimized the “crazy” that can meet us in marriage: when we do certain things, we are poking one another in spaces that hurt but drawing out that hurt (if we face it) leads to healing and oneness (unity). She’s often shared, “I am somebody else’s trial.” In that, the question becomes, is this relationship worth the “crazy”? Can I see healing on the horizon as a result of this relationship? Is the “poking” actually my sharpening? “Iron sharpens iron”, right?

I really love this simple illustration: https://youtu.be/0wuo0e5_hTk

Are you being sharpened, or are you being dulled? Selah.

I encourage you today to move toward accountability, clarity of vision, and an increase of mercy and grace. How do you know when you’ve extended too much grace or not enough? What is the vision for your life and the relationships within it? Where does your accountability lie, that keeps you from veering away from that vision?

LOTS OF QUESTIONS, I KNOW! :)

Truthfully, the answers can be found in your own convictions and your personal relationship with God.

He will show you when your relationship is built on a solid foundation that needs to remain because it’s causing you to be sharpened and grow; and, He will show you when it’s just sand that needs to be washed away because it’s causing you to sink beneath who you’re called to be.

*If you’re married, and you’re sinking, I implore you - go to a Christian counselor with your spouse and find a great marriage retreat to attend. If all is well, you STILL need to find time to get away with your spouse and other couples who are committed to choosing each other every day. I have the perfect retreat in mind for you. Click here to attend the HeartLife Ministries Marriage Retreat this year [October 16-18, 2020]. >> https://hlm2020getaway.eventzilla.net/web/event?eventid=2138756070

There are so many angles this post could take, and there’s no way for me to address them all. Here’s where I need your help... What advice do you have for singles feeling lost on the dating scene, hoping for a forever-mate? Do you have any words for married couples that would help strengthen their bonds? If so, please comment below!

I’m praying for you, as you allow the finishing work of Christ to be made manifest in you daily - while He does the fixing... in every area.

Love, Arielle